I did not understand before why premarital sex was such a big deal. I knew it was a sin, and I knew God forbid it. But I didn’t understand the very real and harmful effects it has on a relationship.
Probably the biggest harmful effect is destroying trust. I’m going to try to break down why this happens.
As Christians, we know God’s command to abstain from sex before marriage. We hopefully plan to abide by it. But often we find ourselves in relationships where the other person is pressuring us into sex, or maybe we are that person.
In every dating relationship, you’re asking yourself, how do I know if this is “the one”? How do I know if I should stay with this person and marry them, or break up?
This isn’t a list of specific behaviours or indications; it’s more of a set of general diagnostic questions you can ask yourself about the health of the relationship.
1. What is my emotional experience in this relationship?
Something I’ve been meditating on recently is the vital importance in dating, and especially in marriage, of choosing a person who fears God.
What do I mean by that, and why is it important?
“Fearing God” doesn’t mean necessarily trembling in terror, or living in a psychological state of fear. What it means is a healthy respect for God. This healthy respect is manifested by belief in, and obedience to, God’s word.
Recently I met up with an old friend of mine, who confided in me that he was in a new long-distance relationship with a girl he'd met online. As he talked about the relationship, he expressed that his major preoccupation was whether this relationship was “God's will” or not. He wanted to know definitively before proceeding, because he didn't want to hurt her or to make a mistake.